Divider Bar

My Struggle

Not many of my classmates knew what to make of me, or what to do with me. So rather than to try to help me with things, they teased me and left me out of most childhood games and other things that are important to a child's development. Actually, they had no clue to what the problem was back then anymore than I had myself. So I'm not blaming them for anything and will not even attempt to blame them now. It was what I consider one of those freak things that we as kids had no clue would affect me for most of my life. In fact, dyslexia is a life long struggle that I will always have regardless of what people might think.

I tried on many occasions to tell our teaches that I was not seeing things that they claimed to be in sentences when reading assignments and the like. What I was told was that it was all in my over active imagination about any problems I was having. My parents had taken me to professional after professional, who all came up with the same solution to my problems, and labeled me partially retarded. The fact is, that I wasn't retarded back then, nor am I now. What has always been the problem is dyslexia. It was and has always been a struggle for me to do book learning, yet, I refused to give up over this problem and even learned to deal with the dyslexia itself with a whole lot of help from my husband, who in short, gave me every opportunity to do the things I had only dreamed of doing before I met him.

Those dreams included graduating from high school, going to college and many other things. The schooling was accomplished and I'm a better person for it today. My education became one of the most important things to me, and upon graduation, I discovered there was more I wanted out of life than just my diploma. I was college minded for some time, and in 1988 decided it was time to do it before I got to old. By the time I was 40, I had graduated from college twice.

It wasn't until college that I became interested in the internet and had asked one of my professors to introduce me to it. But the only computers connected to the internet was in the library at the time. So it wasn't offered as a course of study then. I didn't have any time left for that anyway, as it was more important to just get through my last year.

All through college, I did thing in what most considered the hard way of doing them. But I had learned to deal with my dyslexia in a way that what seemed hard to someone else, wasn't hard for me at all. My professors said that I was one of the hardest working students and they often offered me extra books and other materials for future reference. I accepted these things, and have been through them shortly after my last graduation.

Though it wasn't any easier for me to do my studies and have things handed in on time, I never once gave up...nor did I use my dyslexia for an excuse to get out of doing what I needed to do. Sure, that struggle wasn't easy, but nothing ever is if you want it bad enough. The important thing is that I went...not why I went. Yeah, I did it to prove myself in more ways than you can count. But that isn't as important as the education itself. When a person with dyslexia decides to attend a school of any type, they are well aware of the fact that they will struggle most of the time. They are also well aware of the problems they face all through their education. So it wasn't so much a means to prove that I'm smart, but a means to prove that I could.

As for the struggle itself, nobody has a clue unless they have dyslexia themselves. But it was something that I was able to get through at the late age of 25. Though there are things I have trouble with yet to this day, they are not something that leaves me totally helpless. But rather, they are dealt with on a daily bases whether I like it or not. Each day is taken one day at a time, and each new learning experience is taken the same way. The struggle comes in when it's a book learning experience that has to be done in order to get the information I need. As I have one of the more severe forms of dyslexia. I can't remember the technical name of it, but it causes whole sentences to be missing in many cases. And most reading has to be done several times in order for me to understand it lots of times. So it isn't like college was easy for me by any means.

The true struggle continues as I do what most people do without taking even a second thought as to what they are doing. Just daily reading and paying bills can become an adventure all by themselves for me. I've had many occasions where I over paid a bill because I had numbers or letters missing that my dyslexia prevented me from seeing at the time. I have gotten so I double, triple and quadruple check everything before ever doing anything else with any given bill when doing my books for each month. There is nothing worse than over doing or under doing things with this, and it can still happen even after taking all precautions. It's hard on the budget especially when you're on a limited income like my husband and myself.

The one thing that any dyslexic person has to look for is signing anything without being able to take it home to read it. I've had to sign papers that I didn't understand before signing them and then hate myself later for doing so. There is nothing worse then having something thrown in your face later and not understanding why. Only to go get those papers out later, read them more carefully, know without doubt that you did the wrong thing and have to keep true to what you signed. After years of experience with such things, I can say that I insist on taking it home to read in my own time and space before doing anything else with it at all. If I don't agree with what they have in those papers, I simply refuse to sign them.

There are numerous other things that is a daily struggle just to do and they vary in descriptions and situations with my dyslexia. There is no way that I can even begin to go into everything that it affects for me. There simply isn't enough time or webpage to do so in my opinion. So what I'll do now is give you a list and hope that it helps you understand what I've been going through for years.

bullet

Complete sentences and words missing.

bullet

Letters appearing backwards, in the wrong order and up-side-down.

bullet

Difficulty remembering the order of letters in a word. This is due to the problem above.

bullet

Becoming confused when reading.

bullet

Difficulty seeing some pictures correctly. Like the picture of a bicycle when it is right-side-up. Turn that same picture up-side-down, and I know exactly what it is.

bullet

When driving, signs looking up-side-down at first glace.

bullet

Difficulty viewing some colors that appear in or on a chart. They tend to blend together.

bullet

Difficulty with recognizing different people. This is worse since having a stroke in 1985. The stroke itself has helped to worsen the dyslexia in many ways.

bullet

Difficulty retaining information learned.

bullet

Difficulty recognizing shapes (triangles and the like).

bullet

Difficulty recognizing things that I'm use to seeing on a daily bases. This can include a verity of items and is never the same from day to day.

bullet

Difficulty in staying interested in what is being done at the time I'm doing it.

bullet

Becoming frustrated and confused easily.

bullet

Reading for long periods of time.

bullet

Becoming bore quickly with difficult tasks. This involves mainly reading instructions such as ones that come with items to put together.

bullet

After long periods of time, losing interest in projects that take more than a day to complete. In some ways, it's a wonder how I got through my schooling at all. But I believe it was the pure will and want that got me through it all.

Well, I do hope this has helped my fellow classmates understand what my problem has always been. If you still have questions, just email me and I'll do my best to explain. Rest assured that I will always have to deal with dyslexia for as long as I live. There is no cure or medical treatment that I know of that can help me. But I am living proof that it can be dealt with and that a dyslexic person can do just about anything if they truly want to.

 

[ Classmates | Class Pictures | 30th Class Reunion | The Class Team ]
[ Dyslexia | My Struggle | ADHD | Education Accomplishments |
Resume ]
[ GuestBook | Legal Info | Credits Given | Awards Won | Links | Email ]
[ About the Author | WebSite Updates | Site Map | Home ]

All Material is Written by Anita Eberline.
All Images are Created by Anita Eberline.
No part may be reproduced without prior permission by Anita Eberline.

ICRA